For the fans

Ughhhhhh everyone has been asking me to update the ol' blog almost constantly, so here you go. YOU VULTURES.




(sent March 27, stop hounding me PLEASE)

What do you want? Pictures of people driving? Fine. I have those.




Weird pictures of unhealthy food on my lap? You guys, just chill out, I have plenty to go around.




(clockwise from left: McDonald's, burritos, wings, French pastries)
Yeah, I know, where's the pizza? I'm saving that post so, seriously, calm down.

Every cat picture I have on my phone? I'm sorry, I don't have ten hours to scroll through them all but fiiiiiiiine here's a taste.



(the middle one might not be a cat.)

So there you go, my heart and soul poured out on the pages of this blog. Love you guys.

On Repeat

I need someone else to look into my eyes and tell me girl you know you gotta watch your health.

Secrets

I feel so much fake internet pressure to write a blog post in 2012. The first one, I would whisper to myself in the glow of the computer screen, has to dazzle them.

After sifting through topics in my mind (Cats? Probably need to take it easy with cat-related Internet sharing. Food? But which picture of Taco Bell feasts I've enjoyed would I choose. Clothes? Nobody cares about your sequin shirt collection) I guess I'll just settle for sharing my secrets. People like that right? Really personal and uncomfortably awkward confessions to anonymous people across the Internet?

Okay so first, I watch New Girl like every week. I'm working on my Zooey look.

Nailed it.

Next, I am kind of into online poker.

See the discarded takeout boxes? See the pile of tissues? See the dim lighting to set the mood? That is what five hours of online poker with fake money looks like.

This feels good. So I'm going to end this post with a big one-- I am the inventor of the Butter Straw. It seriously sucks when you get popcorn at the movie theater and you only get 2-3 inches of solid butter congealed on top, right? Just stick a straw in there and pour to your hearts content.

Special thanks to Erica for hand modeling/inspiring this creation.

 Special bonus photo of a food item I saw on a shelf and took a picture of: