let's bond over mutual hatred

Do you have a Pinterest? Do you hate how every single person captions their pictures as a personal question? Then I have the blog for you:


http://unsolicitedpinterestadvice.tumblr.com/

Nobody judge me for being an internet bully. Or for making like 100 new Tumblrs a day. If someone ever heavily Google searched me they would find a blog devoted to a cat picture, a blog making fun of a fashion blogger, a blog about music circa 2006 and a married blog by Deven and I. Follow through is not my strong suit.

So Sentimental

So this should really come as no surprise, but I got a goldfish. I can never stay away. It was won for me at a carnival last night and it has really caused me to re-evaluate how quickly I get attached to things.


Captain’s Log:

8/18/11

10:30 p.m.

Internal dialogue: That game where you throw ping pong balls in a jar looks fun. Oh, the prize is goldfish you say? Well, you know my weakness man without teeth.

10:31 p.m.

Me: The fish is mine!!!!!! All mine!!!!

Carnival worker: Would you like to buy a fish tank and food for $7?

Internal dialogue: What am I doing. Fish need a place to live. Fish need food. Fish need a weird amount of oxygen in their tank. Fish are needy. Abandon ship.

Me: I think…I…Have one at home.

Internal dialogue: LIAR.

10:40 p.m.

Internal dialogue: I’m just going to flush this fish when I get home.

11:50 p.m.

Internal dialogue: What was I thinking?? I love this fish! He is like a child to me! What if he dies? I’ll never love again. This fish is symbolic, this fish MEANS something to me.

8/19/11

The fish is currently residing in a plastic pitcher on my counter next to a fresh bottle of fish food purchased in the early hours of the morning.

WHYYYYYYYYYY.

Getting Stabby

For work I wrote a blog about Kim Kardashian and linked it to our Facebook. The following is why I hate the internet:

Express your opinion, girlfriend, all I ask is that you please PLEASE stop with the unnecessary quotation marks.

Still, how can I hate something that brings me all of these treasures:

Parks and Recreation. Thanks to Netflix I will watch you every day until I die.

Trend Alert

Hey, have you guys seen the latest trend?





Cell phone hands!! Okay. They’re not a thing yet and I actually found these photos on a fashion blog that called them a “don’t” but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I get my hands on one (because then jokes like that never have to stop! Ever!)

Put a ring on it!

When are these hitting the Apple store? Because I'm single and I could really use a fake hand to hold.

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

Business Time

While browsing LinkedIn today, I noticed everyone has really professional portraits on their profiles. Always behind on the trends of the business world, I still have a little gray figure as my icon and clearly this makes me look really unprofessional.  

The real question I have is how do you go about getting a photo like this of yourself?

 Do you go to a studio and explain that you need some professional looking pictures? Is it required that you wear a pantsuit? Because I don't own one of those. The best I can do is a pencil skirt and a blazer that I got at a thrift store thinking I would totally wear it and I never did. Also, is it better to stare into the camera, challenging potential employers to find someone better than you at business things or to smile softly, letting your eyes convey that you're a team player? Because I've seen both and they are equally as powerful. 

For poses, I was thinking of either having a newspaper tucked under my arm to convey that I graduated in journalism or holding up a keyboard next to my face to show that I understand new media. What do you think?

Bacon+Bears

I'm really breaking months of blog silence to post a picture that was made possible by this site  and this site.